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50 Shades of Who-Knows-I-Might-Watch-That

BY KB MENIADO

A lot of people would deny having read the Fifty Shades trilogy. I’m not one of them. I picked up the first book in 2012, back when it seemed like the sexiest thing ever to happen to erotic literature. It wasn’t, of course, but that didn’t stop the books from topping many bestselling lists.

Now it looks like it is going to go big-time again with its film adaptation. Let’s talk about that.

Here is Andy Sachs on her first day of work at Runway. Kidding, it’s Ana Steele, played by Dakota Johnson, who looks like a young Rachel Weisz. She looks very nervous and unsure of herself, probably much like every 21-year-old wearing an ill-fitting blazer to an interview.

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So anyway, Christian Grey. The first we see of him is his but—no, his back. He project ‘power’ even from behind, looking through the glass walls of his immaculately styled office.

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It isn’t until the 50-second mark that he shows his face, which was pretty anti-climactic for me because boy needs to look more convincing.

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Jamie Dornan looks hotter with a beard

Now I don’t know about you, but the rest of the trailer was pretty much like Twilight. (You bet I read and watched that, too.)

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“I’ve been watching you sleep…”

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“May I play you ‘Bella’s Lullaby’?”

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Cue “Flightless Bird, American Mouth”

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“Get your hairy hands off her, Jacob!”

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Honeymoon on Isle Esme~

What really caught my attention, though, was the soundtrack. (I mean, Beyonce is Beyonce.) It makes me want to pencil in the date February 14, 2015 in my nonexistent planner. ☁

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