What Am I To You: Episode 23

by Kath C. Eustaquio-Derla In my heightened state, I walk the entire length of the parking lot looking for Matthew’s car. I feel like a madwoman, walking from one aisle to another, checking the car plates. I finally find the car on other farthest side of the lot, far away from where Denver and I parked.Continue reading “What Am I To You: Episode 23”

What Am I To You: Episode 22

by Kath C. Eustaquio-Derla “I need a date,” says Denver over the phone. “And you’re calling me because…?” I ask, checking my screen to see if it’s really Denver who called me and not Matthew. Or Tristan. “Because you owe me.” “Excuse me?” “I rescued you from ‘temptation island,’ remember?” “I was cashing in on aContinue reading “What Am I To You: Episode 22”

What Am I To You: Episode 21

BY Kath C. Eustaquio-Derla As it turns out, the first thing I do is go online, log on to YouTube and listen to all the Norah Jones songs I could find. In the safe darkness of my condo unit, I finish a bottle of cheap red wine and go through all of Matthew’s photos on Instagram.Continue reading “What Am I To You: Episode 21”

What Am I To You: Episode 20

by Kath C. Eustaquio-Derla During my senior prom, Tristan walked to our table, ignored my giggling girlfriends, took my hand and led me to the dance floor. He didn’t ask. He just took my perfectly manicured hands, as though asking a girl for a dance was the easiest thing in the world to do in highContinue reading “What Am I To You: Episode 20”

What Am I To You: Episode 19

by Kath C. Eustaquio-Derla Have you ever felt like in just one night, your life could change? I wake up this morning feeling all is right in the world. Well, at least in mine. The sun’s gentle morning light is seeping through the slightly opened windows of our room. The gentle sea breeze smells wonderful. AndContinue reading “What Am I To You: Episode 19”

What Am I To You: Episode 18

by Kath C. Eustaquio-Derla I wake up this morning in a bathrobe. The sun is already high in the sky and the breeze from the open terrace windows feels hotter. It must be nearing noon, I think. But the heat I feel has nothing to do with the sun or the breeze. It has everything toContinue reading “What Am I To You: Episode 18”

What Am I To You: Episode 17

by Kath C. Eustaquio-Derla After lunch, I change into much more comfortable clothes and walk to the resort’s Meditation Sanctuary. It’s an open-space where masses are held, a space designed to help people find peace and quiet. The quiet part is easy enough to find. In fact, every space in Bellarocca is a quiet refuge. It’sContinue reading “What Am I To You: Episode 17”

What Am I To You: Episode 16

by Kath C. Eustaquio-Derla I’d like to think that I’m a workaholic. I may have a problem with the occasional—okay, constant—tardiness but given that I live near the office, I am often the first to arrive and one of the last people to leave during the work week. My boss, Joey, didn’t have the heart toContinue reading “What Am I To You: Episode 16”

What Am I To You: Episode 15

by Kath C. Eustaquio-Derla Last night was a complete disaster. After the play, Collin and Matthew invited Denver and me to a round of drinks at some restobar along Jupiter Street. I politely declined after way too much urging from Collin. In the end, I had to say that I’m meeting someone else after the event,Continue reading “What Am I To You: Episode 15”

What Am I To You: Episode 14

by Kath C. Eustaquio-Derla I sense change, like how you can smell a thunderstorm before it hits. Matthew’s calls became less frequent. And then the calls became text messages. And SMS became chat messages. The blanket of bliss I’ve long carried with me started to lose its purpose—as if the worries inside of me are tooContinue reading “What Am I To You: Episode 14”